Most college essays are so full of crap you could plant a forest in them.

Don’t be a forest-enabling loser; write an essay that reads right and rings true.

Step 1: What makes you unique

Think about what makes you unique. You want to pick a subject that no other applicant could possibly write about.

Step 2: Ask friends & relatives

Ask friends and relatives what makes you special. This could be embarrassing, especially if they don’t respond, but it could also help you identify something you hadn’t considered.

Step 3: Write first draft

Once you’ve picked a subject, write a first draft of your essay. Don’t worry about making it perfect—just get your thoughts on paper.

Step 4: Read over essay

Read over your essay. Then read it again aloud—does it sound like you? Cut out any unnecessary paragraphs, sentences, and adverbs.

Step 5: Find editors

Find a couple good editors. English teachers, relatives—anyone whose opinion you trust and who will be honest about what does and does not work.

Step 6: Make revisions

Make the revisions you agree with and, when you’re done, review your essay carefully for spelling and grammar mistakes. An otherwise perfect essay can be ruined by sloppy typos.

Now send it off and relax nobody will be planting a forest in your crap.