Let us educate you on the finer points of dog-bathing for the next time Spot comes home smelling of sewage and rotten birdseed.

Step 1: Prepare a bath

Prepare a bath by adding three to four inches of warm water to the tub, sink, or basin.

Step 2: Put dog into bath

Put the dog into his bath. He will likely resist, so stay firm.

Step 3: Wet your pet

Use a spray hose or a large plastic pitcher to thoroughly wet your pet. Be sure not to get water directly in the dog’s eyes, ears, or nose.

Step 4: Massage in shampoo

Working from head to tail, gently massage the shampoo throughout the dog’s coat.

Step 5: Use sponge or washcloth

Use the sponge or washcloth on the dog’s grimiest areas—his underbelly, the insides of his legs, and of course, that ever-wagging tail.

Step 6: Rinse him off

Using the hose or pitcher again, rinse him off. Take care to do so completely—dried shampoo can seriously irritate a dog’s skin.

Step 7: Check inside ears

Check the insides of his ears. If necessary, clean them gently with dampened cotton balls.

Step 8: Dry him

Dry him as much as possible with a clean towel.

Step 9: Brush dog

Give your dog a quick brush to release any small tangles, and then set him free. He’ll probably go roll around in the dirt to celebrate.