Have you had a baby—and lost your sex life? You’re not alone. It’s the rare couple that can have a baby and not miss a beat sexually. But you can get back that lovin’ feeling.
You will need
- A babysitter
- Birth control
Step 1 Pinpoint the problem Try to pinpoint what’s coming between you and connubial bliss. Does sex hurt? Are you exhausted? Self-conscious about the extra pounds you’ve yet to lose? Too wrapped up in your baby to even think about sex?
Step 2 Resolve Resolve to tackle the issues that apply to you one by one. For most new parents, it’s a combination of things.
Step 3 Try new positions If painful intercourse is the problem, try different positions. Woman-on-top and side-by-side keep pressure off tender nether regions.
Even if you’re nursing, you can get pregnant. The best postpartum contraceptive is a condom, since hormonal methods can interfere with lactation and diaphragms have to be refitted after childbirth.
Step 4 Moisturize Get a good lubricant. Both breastfeeding and a lowered libido due to exhaustion can cause vaginal dryness.
Use a water- or silicone-based lubricant when using a condom. Oil-based products, like petroleum jelly and massage oil, can break down the latex.
Step 5 Get creative Get creative about finding time to get busy. Do it while the baby naps or first thing in the morning. Grab a quickie wherever you can—the couch, the car, the kitchen.
Don’t worry about having sex while the baby is in the same room. She won’t have a clue what’s going on.
Step 6 Relax Relax about your figure. Pregnancy definitely rearranges things, but chances are a little extra padding won’t bother your partner at all. He may even appreciate those extra curves.
Step 7 Go the extra mile Go that extra mile to get things started—a little dirty talk over the phone, a suggestive note tucked into the book he’s reading, an erotic movie.
Step 8 Be diplomatic Be diplomatic about the dive your love life has taken. Instead of whining, ‘We never have sex anymore,’ say something like, ‘I miss kissing and touching you.’
If your breasts are tender from nursing, make them off-limits for now, and leave your bra on. (Just make it a sexy one.)
Step 9 Get a babysitter Get someone to watch the baby so you can get out.
Step 10 Have confidence Rest assured that this dry spell won’t last forever. Just look at all those families that have more than one kid!
Did You Know:
Half of all first-time parents describe their sex lives as “poor” or “not very good” 8 months after childbirth.