How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate

  • December 17, 2008
  • 52,503 Views

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For efficiency’s sake, if you’re going to cheat on your girlfriend, you might as well date her roommate.

You Will Need

  • A girlfriend with a jealous or hateful roommate
  • The ability to lie convincingly

This will probably not end well.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Get a girlfriend

Step 1: Get a girlfriend

Get a girlfriend whose roommate is the jealous or hateful type. College dorms are good hunting grounds. A backstabbing sorority girl paired with a sarcastic philosophy major is an ideal combination.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Make them enemies

Step 2: Make them enemies

If your girlfriend and her roomie get along, drive a wedge between them. For example, get one of your male friends to tell the roommate that your girlfriend talks trash about her behind her back.

Be careful—your attempts to turn them against each other must not be traceable to you.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Drop by

Step 3: Drop by

Drop by one day when you know your girlfriend is out. Casually bring up a complaint about your girlfriend that the roomie will relate to—like you’ve just discovered she badmouths you to others.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Suggest coffee

Step 4: Suggest coffee

Suggest going out for a cup of coffee—claim you’re so hurt about your girlfriend’s behavior that you need to talk to someone.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Thank her

Step 5: Thank her

Thank her for listening to you. Tell her what a smart, kind, and—yes, you’re just gonna say it—sexy woman she is. Confess, sheepishly, that you wish you had met her first.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Fan the flames

Step 6: Fan the flames

Keep feeding the roomie nonsense about how awful your girlfriend is to you—and how nastily she speaks of her. At this point, the roommate will likely be pursuing you.

How To Hook Up With Your Girlfriend’s Roommate: Hook up

Step 7: Hook up

Hook up with both gals for as long as you can. Eventually the roomie will tire of revenge or your girlfriend will find out. Either way, the jig will be up.

Many states still have anti-adultery laws from the 19th century that have never been repealed but are no longer enforced.

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Comments (7)

HeatherM

Great warning!

over 3 years ago by HeatherM

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ncicero0

hahaha

over 3 years ago by ncicero0

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sanjay

What a funny video!

over 3 years ago by sanjay

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LukeDYu

What a great line, ";keep feeding her nonsense";

over 3 years ago by LukeDYu

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tessa

That line had me rolling!

over 3 years ago by tessa

Reply
aharrison

great video

over 3 years ago by aharrison

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