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How To Fake Being Sober

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• 20,909 views
• If "sloppy" and "drunk" are often used in the same sentence to describe you, you might want to soak in some of these suggestions.
• Added February 9, 2008

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This video has Easy Steps. | Show all steps » Print

You Will Need

• Acting skills
• Some vitamin C
• Eye drops
• A little face powder
• Some strong-smelling food

• Never drink and drive.

• 

  Step 1.

  Pop a Vitamin C

  Pop a Vitamin C. Studies have reported that a large dose of Vitamin C will prevent drunken behavior.

• 

  Step 2.

  Walk a straight line

  Announce to whoever’s around: “I’m as sober as a Deacon and I can prove it!” Then walk a straight line. The keys are to focus on a point on the ground 10 feet in front of you and don’t look down at your feet and the line.

• If a police officer asks you to follow his finger with your eyes, mention that you’ve had a lot of coffee. Caffeine causes the same involuntary jerking of the eyeball that alcohol does.

• 

  Step 3.

  Eat something overpowering

  Forget the mints: Eat something overpowering enough to cover up liquor breath, like garlic.

• 

  Step 4.

  Put in eye drops

  Put in some eye drops.

• 

  Step 5.

  Lower voice

  Lower your voice; drunks tend to get loud. Better still, try not to talk at all.

• 

  Step 6.

  Powder face

  Powder your face—borrow a compact if you have to—to get rid of any telltale redness.

• Research has shown that college students spend more money on booze than they do on tea, coffee, milk, juice, soft drinks, and books combined.

Show comments rated greater than 10 Show comments rated greater than 5 Show comments rated greater than 0 Show comments rated greater than -5 Show comments rated greater than -10

Comments View all (5)...

Show Comment by nickmather (Rated 3)

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• 3

Very well done, good shots

Reply about 1 year ago by nickmather

Show Comment by kimmywong (Rated 3)

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• 3

what about pepcid ac to combat redness?

Reply about 1 year ago by kimmywong

Show Comment by Ustabin (Rated 2)

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• 2

GO KIDS WHO SPEND MORE ON BOOZE. ....wait, did he just eye drop his tongue?

Reply about 1 year ago by Ustabin

Show Comment by Inlightent (Rated 0)

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• 0

I don't think placing Eye drops on your tongue is good for you my friend remember Wedding Crashers? the guy was on a toilet after Owen Wilson pour Eye Drops in his drink

Reply 7 months ago by Inlightent

Show Warning by Inlightent (Rated -1)

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I'm not sure but I think it would be bad to put eye drops on you're eyes

Reply 7 months ago by Inlightent

View all comments (5)...

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