How To Fake Being Sober
- February 9, 2008
- 30,400 Views
Music
Edison Music Corp
Voice-Over Artist
Taige Jensen
Writer
Rosemarie Lennon
If “sloppy” and “drunk” are often used in the same sentence to describe you, you might want to soak in some of these suggestions.
You Will Need
- Acting skills
- Some vitamin C
- Eye drops
- A little face powder
- Some strong-smelling food
Never drink and drive.
Step 1: Pop a Vitamin C
Pop a Vitamin C. Studies have reported that a large dose of Vitamin C will prevent drunken behavior.
Step 2: Walk a straight line
Announce to whoever’s around: “I’m as sober as a Deacon and I can prove it!” Then walk a straight line. The keys are to focus on a point on the ground 10 feet in front of you and don’t look down at your feet and the line.
If a police officer asks you to follow his finger with your eyes, mention that you’ve had a lot of coffee. Caffeine causes the same involuntary jerking of the eyeball that alcohol does.
Step 3: Eat something overpowering
Forget the mints: Eat something overpowering enough to cover up liquor breath, like garlic.
Step 4: Put in eye drops
Put in some eye drops.
Step 5: Lower voice
Lower your voice; drunks tend to get loud. Better still, try not to talk at all.
Step 6: Powder face
Powder your face—borrow a compact if you have to—to get rid of any telltale redness.
Research has shown that college students spend more money on booze than they do on tea, coffee, milk, juice, soft drinks, and books combined.
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Comments (9)
Very well done, good shots
over 4 years ago by nickmather
GO KIDS WHO SPEND MORE ON BOOZE. ....wait, did he just eye drop his tongue?
over 3 years ago by Ustabin
I don't think placing Eye drops on your tongue is good for you my friend
remember Wedding Crashers?
the guy was on a toilet after Owen Wilson pour Eye Drops in his drink
over 3 years ago by Inlightent
what about pepcid ac to combat redness?
over 3 years ago by kimmywong
lol
over 2 years ago by rsgill
i really love how you had a mouth gag just lying around. kinky.
about 1 year ago by eleanor
lol
about 1 year ago by margejaimles
Thanks hey you should make one on how to sober up quick.
about 1 year ago by 93LilJoker
I'm not sure but I think it would be bad to put eye drops on you're eyes
over 3 years ago by Inlightent
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