How To Find Out If a New Love Wants an Exclusive Relationship

Wait until you’ve been dating for at least two or three months before you broach the subject of exclusivity.

Reflect on the relationship so far. Are you sure you are ready to date this person exclusively? Don’t seek a commitment from them that you’re not ready to make yourself.

Pick a good time and place to have the talk—a day when you’re both relaxed, have ample privacy and time to chat, and—most importantly—sober.

Don’t simply announce that you’re ready to be exclusive. Start by suggesting that it might be a prudent discussion to have.

Be honest and upfront about what you want, but don’t make demands, and don’t issue ultimatums. Really listen to what the other person has to say.

If the other person agrees to exclusivity, welcome to couple-dom. If they prefer to keep things casual, you can either end the relationship or continue as before, at least for a while. Before you decide, consider whether keeping things non-exclusive will make you crazy with jealousy, or interfere with your ability to date someone else.

If you didn’t get the answer you were hoping for, suggest revisiting the issue in a couple of months. Your partner may be against commitment, or just need a little push. In any case, if they’re never going to date you exclusively, it’s better you know sooner rather than later.