How To Lead a Double Life
- February 26, 2009
- 8,136 Views
Writer
Jake_Bakkila
Voice Over Artist
Peter Coleman
Music
The Way It Is
Whether you want to juggle two wives or keep you alter ego separate from your day job, here are the precautions you must take.
You Will Need
- A second name
- A daily planner
- A second phone line
- A P.O. box
- A good memory
- An escape plan
- A checklist
Step 1: Assume a different name
Assume a different name for any risqué second life. This will help you immediately get into character when you hear your name called in public.
Step 2: Buy a daily planner
Buy a daily planner and be maniacal about scheduling every hour of your day. If you’re going to be successful in leading two different lives, you’ve got to keep them from colliding.
Step 3: Have separate phones
Have separate phones and numbers for each persona.
Step 4: Get a P.O. box
Get a P.O. box for the life you consider the “secret” one.
Step 5: Don’t allow pictures
Don’t allow photos to be taken of you. You never know where they could land, bringing down your whole house of cards.
Step 6: Be vigilant
Be vigilant about assuming the right identity. If you wear the wrong wedding band with the wrong partner, that’s gonna be a hard one to explain.
Consider preparing a checklist that you can review when transitioning from one role to the other.
Step 7: Guard your privacy
Guard your privacy, even to the point of rudeness. You never know what a snoopy neighbor may pick up on if you leave him in your den unattended.
Step 8: Feign incompetence
Adopt an absent-minded professor demeanor in both lives; it will make it easier to explain your tendency to repeat and contradict yourself.
Step 9: Have an emergency plan
Have an emergency plan in place, lest your double life becomes exposed. Depending on the extent of your duplicity, having a third identity ready and waiting may be in order!
Self-described “gray, bald, fat, old” British car salesman Melvyn Reed was successfully juggling three wives when he awakened in a hospital room after heart surgery to find all three women ready to kill him.
Something wrong? Report this How-To
Video is in Faking It (19 videos)
How To Stage Your Own Groundhog Day
- 9,211 views
- TreehouseFlicks
How To Spread a Rumor
- 5,178 views
- Seaworthy
Comments (5)
LEAVE IT TO A MAN IN THE CAR BUSINESS TO TRY THIS ONE,OR 3 THAT IS...MY HUSBAND IN THE CAR BUSINESS DID THE SAME THING,WORKING ONLY 2 HOURS FROM OUR HOME.WE HAVE 6 KIDS TOGETHER, IN HIS SECOND LIFE HE HAD ONLY 1 KID SO HE SAID.....WHAT'S THE THING WITH MEN ?THEY ALL THINK THEY ARE GREAT...
about 1 year ago by kathy57
WHATS THE THING WITH YOU.....JEALOUS ARE WE SLUT....NO LAW SAYS YOU CANNOT HAVE MORE THEN 1(HOW BORING) WIFE....BITCH THE MAN WORKS HARD TO FEED HIS FAMILY AND NOT JUST THAT YOU SLAG....EVER HEARD OF VARIETY ADDS SPICE TO LIFE....AND ANYWAY IF HE CAN SUPPORT TWO OR MORE WIVES THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UNGRATEFUL CUNT.
4 months ago by sly1
LEAVE IT TO A MAN IN THE CAR BUSINESS TO TRY THIS ONE,OR 3 THAT IS...MY HUSBAND IN THE CAR BUSINESS DID THE SAME THING,WORKING ONLY 2 HOURS FROM OUR HOME.WE HAVE 6 KIDS TOGETHER, IN HIS SECOND LIFE HE HAD ONLY 1 KID SO HE SAID.....WHAT'S THE THING WITH MEN ?THEY ALL THINK THEY ARE GREAT...
about 1 year ago by kathy57
you already said that.
11 months ago by popcorngirl94
Weird clothes dude.
11 months ago by popcorngirl94
Sign in or create an account to post a comment. Or, sign in using your Facebook to comment
and share your activity with your friends