How to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get Caught
Whatever your reason for getting it on in the workplace – and, trust us, we don't want to know – make sure it stays between you and your amour.
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Spice up your love life -- and learn how to handle any sexual situation that may arise -- with the advice in these Howcast videos.
You Will Need
- Easy-to-remove clothes
- A comfortable spot
- Wet wipes
Steps
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Step 1
Check for security cameras
Make sure you know the location of all office security cameras so your little romp isn't caught on tape. Surveillance equipment is typically placed near entry and exit points and in rooms than contain merchandise or other valuables. But employers have been known to put cameras in employees’ private offices.
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It’s illegal to put cameras in restrooms, so that’s usually a safe place.
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Step 2
Dress for sex-cess
Dress for sex-cess, meaning clothes that go on and off quickly and don't wrinkle easily. Going commando saves a lot of time.
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Ladies, remove your lipstick so your partner doesn't become a marked man.
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Step 3
Look for privacy
Choose an out-of-the way location that doesn't get much foot traffic. A closet with a locked door is an excellent option.
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Step 4
Fake a meeting
If one of you has an office, record yourselves having a fake conference call, then play the recording from behind closed doors; sounds of an important meeting will make co-workers think twice before barging in.
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Lean a chair under the office doorknob to thwart surprise visitors; you can later claim the door was jammed if anyone asks.
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Step 5
Clean up
Don't return to your desk without freshening up. Be sure to check your clothes for dead giveaways like inside-out blouses and missed buttons.
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Step 6
Do it late at night
Play it safe by waiting until everyone leaves work for the night. Just make sure you know the cleaning staff’s routine and schedule before you pick a time and place or you’ll experience a whole different kind of coitus interruptus.
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Step 7
Keep your lips zipped
If you are caught, say a simple "I'm sorry," and get back to work. Attempting to explain or justify can only make matters worse.
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Nineteen percent of men and eight percent of women say they've had sex at their workplace, according to one survey.
