How To Get Out Of Attending a Wedding

Act as if you can’t wait to attend—until a few weeks prior, when you suddenly announce the terrible news that you can’t make it. Be crestfallen.

Consider saying you’ve been called away on an urgent business trip. While this is a fairly common excuse, you will need to keep track of the lie in future conversations with friends and friends of friends.

If a business trip isn’t plausible, say you’re suddenly being forced to attend a last-minute family reunion. Just make sure no relatives are going to the wedding!

If you need to cancel at the very last minute, claim you’ve contracted a contagious disease. Make it serious but not deadly, like a rare strain of conjunctivitis.

Whatever excuse you give, be sure to send a gift and an apology note to further pretend like you care. Unless, of course, you want to end the friendship—in which case, ditch the polite routine and blow the whole thing off. You won’t hear from them ever again!