How to Avoid Doing the Thanksgiving Dishes

Are you the one scraping sticky marshmallowed yams and congealed gravy off the dishes every Thanksgiving? Shame someone else into doing it this year.

You will need

  • Thanksgiving dinner guests
  • Dirty dishes
  • A fake cast for your arm (optional)

Step 1 Single out targets When discussing who will bring what, single out your targets—the guests who can’t cook—and say, “How about bringing a dish towel? I could really use some help with the dishes this year.”

Step 2 Post a list of duties Post a master Thanksgiving list—in a very visible location—that shows whose duty is what. Use a larger font for the dishwashers so everyone knows who’s on KP duty.

Step 3 Express gratitude at table At the table, ask your guests to share what they’re thankful for. When it’s your turn, pause dramatically before expressing your profound gratitude for Aunt Henrietta and cousin Mabel, who have graciously offered to do the dishes.

Step 4 Hire help As a last resort, hire help. Check bulletin boards for people who’d prefer making money to eating turkey.

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