How To Raise Self-Esteem in Others

Counteract negative talk with realistic feedback. If the person says she’s stupid, point out that she’s a whiz at crosswords, or the only family member who can program the computer. Simply saying “you shouldn’t feel that way” doesn’t help.

Make a conscious effort to mention things about her that you truly admire.

Spend more time with the person. When she talks, really listen. If she sees how good you feel about her, she’ll start to feel good about herself.

Keep her surrounded by positive people. Invite her to participate in fun group activities. When it goes well, she’ll feel more accepted.

Don’t let her keep comparing herself to other people. Of course there’s always going to be someone better than she is at something—that’s true for all of us. Instead, have her focus on how great she is.

Hang in there. Low self-esteem is not something that can be fixed in a day or two. It may take months of showing the person how special she is for her to start believing it.