How to Pick Up a Girl at a Stop light

Tired of the dating scene? Try meeting someone at a stoplight. If you don’t get arrested for stalking, you just might get a date.

You will need

  • A cool car
  • preferably a convertible
  • A road with several stoplights and turn offs
  • A business card
  • An energetic puppy

Step 1 Get a cool car Get a cool car. As much as we like to think women don’t care about the car we drive, they really do. At a glance, it’s all they know about us, other than our face, driving ability, and whether we gave to Greenpeace. A cool car says: a) your income — real or perceived, and b) the kind of guy you want other people to think you are.

Step 2 Pick a good road Choose a two-lane road that has stoplights, a 40 mph speed limit, and lots of traffic. You’ll want at least a stoplight every two blocks, since you may not be able to seal a deal on just one stoplight — especially if you’re a newbie. Also, choose a road with ample turn-offs into shopping centers and gas stations.

Step 3 Find a girl Find a girl, one who is preferably driving alone, and scope her out. No wedding ring? Good mood? Singing along to music? Know everything you can about her before pulling up alongside her at the next stoplight.

Step 4 Get her attention Get her attention in an offhand way. Reach for something in the glove compartment, pick something off the floor, or play with your puppy. When she looks over, smile.

Step 5 Determine her interest Determine her interest. She’s either going to smile and then look away, or just look away. If she looks back and smiles, you’ve got a chance. If she stays intently focused on the light, call it a day and find someone else.

Step 6 Make your move If she smiled, make your move. Roll down your window and ask for directions to someplace close by. When she gives them to you, offer your card and say thanks for the help — and that if she’s interested, you’d love to take her to dinner.

Step 7 See what happens By this time, the light will have turned green and you’ll need to either hold up traffic or follow her to the next light. If you’re feeling lucky, you might try to suggest pulling off to a safe and populated location to talk some more. She’ll either politely decline or pull over. If that happens, well…the rest is cake.