How To Translate What a Politician Says
- July 14, 2008
- 5,742 Views
Writer
Rosemarie_Lennon
Music
Edison Music Corp
Voice Over Artist
Peter Coleman
Politicians speak their own special language. We’re here to translate it for you.
You Will Need
- An ear for pandering
- A knowledge of political doubletalk and euphemisms
Step 1: Identify those "real Americans"
When a candidate boasts of meeting “real Americans,” it means they’ve been forced to go bowling and eat funnel cakes with people who earn less per month than they pay for a suit.
Step 2: Recognize the artful dodge
Recognize a dodge when you hear it: “I don’t answer hypotheticals” means “I don’t have a clue what I’d do if that happened.”
When a candidate says, “with all due respect,” they mean nothing of the sort.
Step 3: Read between the lines
Read between the lines. A call to “strengthen Social Security” usually means cutting benefits.
Step 4: Beware of the word "balance"
Beware of the word “balance,” as in “we need to find balance.” That’s political-speak for “In the interest of being elected, I’m trying to have it both ways.”
Step 5: Interpret "I'd consider that"
When a politician running for office answers a policy question with “That’s certainly something I’d look at,” it means “There’s no way in hell that’s gonna happen, but I don’t want to alienate you by saying so.”
Step 6: Decipher "protect your freedom"
Learn to decipher the phrase “protect your freedom.” Coming out of the mouth of an elected official, it either means “I’m going to trample on some civil rights,” or “I may have to attack another country.” Or both.
Martin Van Buren, who spoke English and Dutch, is the only U.S. President to grow up bilingual.
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Comments (6)
It is really funny!
over 3 years ago by howtofilm
This will really help me make my decision this November!
over 3 years ago by Jeff_K
ok
over 3 years ago by orange5
ok
over 3 years ago by orange5
SNAP
http://www.howcast.com/videos/17503-How-To-Become-President
over 3 years ago by dennisbartram
Excellent video, and certainly true of Demopublican politicians. I would only trust Joe Kennedy (an independent businessman) or Peter Schiff (whose father is in jail due to protesting the IRS) to tell the truth about anything.
If you live in Massachusetts, or if you just want an independent voice in the US Senate, please contribute to Joe Kennedy online at http://www.joekennedyforsenate.com
Thanks!
over 2 years ago by voterforkennedy
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