How to Be Famous for 15 Minutes

No talent, connections, or ability? No problem! You can still be famous—just look at some of the people who are!

You will need

  • Low self-respect
  • A touch of exhibitionism
  • A complete lack of morals

Step 1 Get on a reality show Get yourself on a reality show. You don’t need talent, just a willingness to humiliate yourself. And once you do one show, you’re considered famous enough to qualify for a celebrity reality show!

Step 2 Date a celebrity Date a celebrity. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Just hang out at the ‘in’ club; stars move around in herds. If you can actually get pregnant by a celebrity—or impregnate one—all the better!

Step 3 Start a blog Follow stars around and then write catty things about them on your blog. Soon, you’ll be interviewed on entertainment shows about what these celebs are doing, and then you’ll become a celebrity yourself! You may even get your own show.

Step 4 Get on YouTube Upload a video of yourself to YouTube. Singing or dancing badly, bawling over a celebrity, or getting yourself tasered by the police are all attention grabbers. Or stage something fake—like a bride chopping off her hair on her wedding day. Think outside the box!

Step 5 Make a porn tape Make a porn tape with a celebrity. ‘Accidentally’ let the tape get stolen and then complain bitterly to the press when it hits the internet.

Step 6 Be involved in a crime Find some connection to a high-profile crime so you can make the round of entertainment/true crime/talk shows and put your two cents in—even if you have no earthly idea of what went down.

Step 7 Go nude Streaking at a public event is always a good way to end up on the news. Or take a cue from the New Yorker who wandered around Times Square in just his socks, talking on his cell phone.