Up next in Be Your Own Marriage Counselor (14 videos)
Improve your relationship by learning how to be your own marital therapist; it's all in this Howcast video series.
You Will Need
Get it all out
Tell your partner how hurt and angry you are about the affair, and discuss how and why it happened. Research suggests that the more couples talk about an affair and its repercussions, the better their chances are of getting past it.
Don't do anything rash
Don't do anything rash, like file for divorce. You may feel very differently when the shock wears off.
Consider couples counseling to help you both sort through your problems and feelings.
Ask for their help
Ask your partner to help you trust them again by sticking close by for a while, calling frequently, and keeping you in the loop as to their whereabouts. They should be very willing to be open and honest about how they're spending their time.
Over time, as they begin to regain your trust, forgive them – and don't throw the affair in their face every time you argue. It's the only way you both will be able to put the affair behind you.