How To Practice Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation

Decide how long each of the five phases of the meditation will be. Five minutes is a good length of time for beginners.

Set the timer or select a track on your music player that corresponds to the length of time you have chosen for the first phase.

To prepare yourself for the meditation, bring your awareness into the present.

Close your eyes and scan your body to become fully aware of it. Begin with your toes and move slowly along your feet and up your legs, back, and pelvis, through your hands and arms, and finally up to your neck and head.

Reflect on what you want to achieve from this meditation. Maybe you want to reconcile yourself with a particular person. Then commit yourself to practicing conscientiously.

Keeping your eyes gently closed throughout the practice, begin to cultivate the feeling of loving kindness. There are many ways to do this. You might recall previous times when the feeling arose, repeat a phrase that expresses loving kindness (like “may I, you, or they be happy”), or imagine someone else communicating loving kindness to you.

For the first phase of meditation, cultivate loving kindness towards yourself. The way we feel about ourselves affects the way we treat others.

Many people find it difficult to feel loving kindness towards themselves. Try imagining someone who loves you expressing their love, and be completely open to this love.

For the second phase, cultivate loving kindness towards someone for whom you already have positive feelings—a social acquaintance, an admired colleague, a respected teacher, or a close friend. Reflect on that person’s good qualities, or visualize him or her radiating joy.

For the third phase, cultivate loving kindness towards a neutral person who triggers neither like nor dislike. This should be somebody you know or see regularly, for example a neighbor you nod hello to but about whom you have no feelings one way or the other.

For the fourth phase, cultivate loving kindness toward a hostile person, someone with whom you currently have difficulties. Many people find that when they practice metta bhavana for a hostile person, they find their relationship with that person improved.

For the fifth phase, cultivate loving kindness toward yourself, your friend, and your enemy at the same time.

Extend your loving kindness outward until it reaches all living things. To do this, think of people in different locations across the globe going about their lives in various ways.

When you have completed the fifth phase, sit quietly for a few seconds and reflect on your experience of meditation.

Return gently to your life in the outside world. Remember that loving kindness is not only practiced in meditation but also in life.