How To Tell Your Parents You're Flunking Out

  • December 18, 2007
  • 798 Views

You might want to invest in a bulletproof vest, just in case.

You Will Need

  • Time to research your speech
  • Good sales skills
  • And fast legs, just in case
  • A third party to deter parental acting out

Step 1: Prepare them

Prepare them for the news by hinting that an earth-shattering tragedy has befallen you. Encourage them to think along the lines of incurable diseases.

Make sure they hear the news from you—not the dean of students.

Step 2: Reframe events

Reframe recent events in such a way that it seems that the college is failing you rather than the other way around.

Step 3: Give perspective

Scour news sources for a world disaster of epic proportions. Remind your parents of the importance of perspective—your failing grades are but an insignificant blip compared with people dying or losing everything as a result of the catastrophe.

Step 4: Give statistics

If the situation is really dire—you’re in danger of being kicked out—tell them that the Foundation of Economic Trends recently concluded that more than 35% of college graduates take jobs that do not require college degrees.

Leo Tolstoy, author of War and Peace, flunked out of college.

Something wrong?

Report This How-To

Cancel

Comments (0)

There are no comments. Be the first!

or to post a comment. Or, sign in using your Facebook to comment
and share your activity with your friends