How To Introduce Your Christian Partner To Your Jewish Parents

Explain Judaism to your partner as it applies to you and your family. Include reasons for the prohibition among many Jews on interfaith relationships—a taboo owing to persecution, the historical pressure to assimilate to the dominant culture, and the desire for continuity among the Jewish people. Some branches of Judaism, though, welcome it.

Recognize that your partner’s goyish, or non-Jewish, manner will be obvious to your parents, so celebrate your differences.

Choose a place and time that gives your parents a chance to meet your partner informally at first—perhaps lunch at a favorite bistro. Familiar, comfortable surroundings may help soften the blow.

Attach some good news to the first meeting. You got a promotion, a raise, you quit smoking, you stopped with all the junk food, you upgraded your health insurance, your next-door neighbor is a policeman…so what’s to worry?

While you must honor your father and mother, you must also honor your commitment to this romantic relationship. Nevertheless, don’t imagine yourselves as Romeo and Juliet—remember, they both died in the end. Be practical about making an interfaith relationship work.

If, despite your best efforts, your parents collapse upon hearing your intentions toward the Christian, then proceed to: tilt head, lift chin, check breathing; administer two breaths; check pulse; position hands in the center of chest; firmly push down 2 inches on the chest 30 times; repeat until paramedics arrive.

Start working through the guilt.