How to Leave Work Early and Arrive Late without Getting Caught
Trick your boss into thinking you're catching the early worm and burning the midnight oil, with these tricks.
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Between crazy bosses and creepy coworkers, it's a wonder you get any work done at all. Here's a little help.
You Will Need
- An all-weather jacket
- A duplicate purse or briefcase
- A bagel
- Plastic knives
- Cream cheese and jelly packets
- A large bottle of anti-diarrhea medicine
- A lightweight raincoat (optional) (optional)
- A partner in crime (optional) (optional)
Steps
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Step 1
Leave your computer on
Turn off your computer's power save option so that it won't go to sleep when you're trying to trick your colleagues into thinking you're still slaving away.
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Step 2
Invest in duplicates
Invest in duplicates of an item you'd never leave the office without, like a purse or briefcase, to lend credence to the "so-and-so must be here somewhere" still life you're creating.
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Step 3
Have a jacket on hand
Sneak an all-weather jacket into the office that you can leave behind on nights you want to leave early.
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Step 4
Create a breakfast tableau
Keep a bagel, some plastic knives, and a bag of individual cream cheese and jelly packets in your desk drawer so you can stage breakfast before you leave for the night. Now you can take your sweet time getting to work in the morning.
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Step 5
Throw in a bathroom emergency
Prominently display a large bottle of anti-diarrhea medication when you need to disappear for a few hours; everyone will assume you're indisposed. Best of all, they'll be too embarrassed to ask.
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Step 6
Get your work done
Make sure you get your work done. That way, if you're ever caught, you can at least argue that your erratic hours are not affecting the bottom line.