How to Relax during Sex with Someone New

Getting naked with someone for the first time can be nerve-racking. Use these strategies to calm yourself.


Up next in How to Improve Your Sex Life (50 videos)

Spice up your love life -- and learn how to handle any sexual situation that may arise -- with the advice in these Howcast videos. You'll learn how to perform a striptease, get rid of a one-night stand, have sex in the office and not get caught, spring clean your sex life, have hotter sex, talk her into having sex with you, undo a bra with one hand, have stronger erections, talk dirty, improve sexual foreplay, and much, much more.


You Will Need

  • A fitness program
  • Grapefruit or spicy floral scent
  • Sexual audacity
  • A good sexual fantasy
  • A Brazilian wax (optional)


  1. Step 1

    Work out a few times a week. Research shows that regular exercise boosts sexual self-esteem – plus, it'll help firm up any problem areas.

  2. Step 2

    Take advantage of aromatherapy. A grapefruit scent can fool people into thinking you're several years younger. If you want to look trimmer, a spicy floral scent can make people perceive you as up to 12 pounds thinner.

  3. Step 3

    Disrobe with confidence, even if you're completely faking it. Studies show that sexual self-assurance is a huge turn-on to both sexes.

  4. Consider getting a Brazilian wax. Women who did reported feeling sexier and having better sex.

  5. Step 4

    Stop worrying that your partner is fixated on your love handles and cellulite. Surveys show that we're all too anxious about our own body to take a close look at our partner's.

  6. Step 5

    Go ahead and fantasize during the act. The biggest inhibitor to good sex with someone new is performance anxiety – if you can get your mind to let go, your body will have an easier time following suit.

  7. A 2008 global sex survey determined Brazil is the most sexually confident nation in the world.