230013 1299 Sex & Relationships Dating General Dating true Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:03:00 -0800 /system/videos/1/74/39/27/273974.flv relationships,boyfriend,abusive,abused,recognizing,knowing,telling,verbally,abuser,fighting How To Know If Your Boyfriend Is Abusive http://www.howcast.com/videos/230013-How-To-Know-If-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Abusive http://www.howcast.com/videos/230013-How-To-Know-If-Your-Boyfriend-Is-Abusive/edit approved 142 640 360 <object width="425" height="273" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" id="howcastplayer"><param name="movie" value="http://www.howcast.com/flash/howcast_player.swf?file=230013"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.howcast.com/flash/howcast_player.swf?file=230013" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="273" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" ></embed></object> 1 CatJonSuz2010 http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/boyfriend_abusive_xxlarge_maintained_aspect.png 800 false false false 92944 0 17 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/17.jpg If your boyfriend has ever laid a hand on you, even if it was just once, there’s no need to go any further: You are being abused, and you need to break things off.

]]> 92945 1 27 Tip Physical abuse often starts in little ways – a shove here, a squeeze there – and then escalates.

]]> 92946 2 34 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/34.jpg Don’t discount emotional abuse. Does he regularly put you down? That’s abuse, too – even if he says he’s just kidding.

]]> 92947 3 42 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/42.jpg Think about the influence he has over your life. Does he try to control which friends and family members you see, how you dress, or how you spend your time without him? Many abusers are controlling.

]]> 92948 4 53 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/53.jpg Consider how he makes you feel. Are you anxious much of the time? Are you getting more headaches and stomachaches? Do you worry about disappointing him or making him angry? Even if he’s never physically hurt you, do you feel like he could some day?

]]> 92949 5 67 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/67.jpg Think about his other relationships. Does he get into a lot of fights? Have any of his ex-girlfriends claimed he abused them? Does he have a bad temper? Is he manipulative?

]]> 92950 6 76 Tip If family, friends, or even acquaintances are cautioning you about him, take their warnings seriously.

]]> 92951 7 83 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/83.jpg Don’t blow off threats he’s made to harm you – even if they were said in the heat of an argument, or in a jokey “this is what will happen to you if you ever dump me” kind of way.

]]> 92952 8 94 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/94.jpg Consider if your relationship fits the cycle of abuse: an explosive outburst followed by a “honeymoon phase,” where he begs forgiveness and acts like the perfect boyfriend, followed by a “tension phase,” where you’re walking on eggshells waiting for the next blowup.

]]> 92953 9 110 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/110.jpg If you have any doubts about whether you’re in an abusive relationship, talk to someone who can give you an unbiased opinion.

]]> 92954 10 116 Tip Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline for help. Visit ndvh.org and loveisrespect.org.

]]> 92955 11 125 Step http://img.howcast.com/system/thumbnails/230013/125.jpg Do whatever it takes to get away from the abuser – and stay away.

]]> 92956 12 132 Fact Sixteen- to 24-year-old women enter physically abusive relationships more often than women in any other age group.

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