Up next in How to Be an Ultimate Sports Fan (28 videos)
These videos are not for fair weather fans.
You Will Need
- Time to do research
- Injury reports for both teams
- A few phrases of basketball lingo
- One go-to phrase
- Two or three nostalgic references
- A basketball-related joke
- Lots of team paraphernalia
Do some research
Start by gathering some basic info about the game – what teams are playing? Which one are you supposed to be rooting for? Who’s the coach? Who’s the mascot? What are the team colors?
Check injury reports
While you’re at it, check out the injury reports for both teams. Write down the name and ailment of one injured player for each side, and practice making mention of them during the game. Use phrases like, 'Lambert would’ve had that rebound!' Or 'Good thing they don’t have Boyd in the line-up!'
Follow the crowd’s lead
Follow the crowd’s lead. Stand when they stand, cheer when they cheer, boo when they boo.
Know the basic lingo
Bone up on basic basketball lingo. They’re not bouncing the ball, they’re 'dribbling' it; when a player gets 'fouled,' the shots he takes from the 'foul line' are called 'foul shots' or 'free throws.'
Have a go-to phrase
Pick out a go-to phrase, like 'Three in the key!,' which is good to yell whenever an offensive player, which is a player for the team with the ball, is lingering for more than 3 seconds in the 'key,' which is the key-shaped box that… Oh never mind, just shout it whenever a lot of people are crowded around the basket.
If anybody calls your bluff, immediately grow nostalgic. Mention how much 'purer' the game was before the 24-second clock, the 3-point shot, or the A.B.A. merger came along.
Have a joke ready
End with a basketball-related joke, especially if your team loses. On the way out, turn to your companions and say, 'Hey, we’ll win next time – we’re playing the Washington Generals!' That’s a really bad team.