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Caught in a bad romance? Learn what to do when love goes wrong with these Howcast videos about love, sex, and relationships.
You Will Need
- The Domestic Violence Hotline
- A place to stay
- Important documents
- A code word
- Careful timing
- A restraining order
- A YWCA (optional)
- Cash (optional)
If the abuse is physical, call The Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They can provide both advice and assistance. Your local YWCA also has counselors who can help you.
Clear your browser history
If you are using online resources to find help, clearing your browser history will make it harder for your abuser to track what you're doing. Click Clear History in the Toolbar at the top of the screen.
If the abuse is emotional, get counseling, either alone or with your partner.
Tell loved ones
Tell trusted loved ones if you are being abused. Many women keep their situation a secret out of shame, and that puts them in greater danger.
Have a safety plan
If you are living with your abuser, figure out a safe place to go. If you can't stay with friends or relatives or afford your own housing, contact a women's shelter.
Gather important documents
Gather as many important documents as you can before you leave, like birth certificates, passports, social security cards, marriage license, leases, deeds, insurance policies, medical records, bank account information, and police or hospital reports of abuse. Pack any medication you'll need.
Establish a code word
Establish a code word with friends, family members, and coworkers so you can signal them if you're in immediate danger.
Time your escape
Plan to leave, either with family and friends escorting you out, or with enough time so that you'll have time to get to your safe destination before your abuser knows you're gone.
Know the limits of a restraining order
Get a restraining order, but know that approximately half of them are violated. So take other precautions as well, like avoiding being alone, varying your routine, and letting your employer know that your ex is not welcome.