How to Kiss like Angelina Jolie
A look at the technique that launched a thousand broken relationships.
You will need
- pillowy lips
- No sense of boundaries
Step 1 Get collagen Get collagen lip injections—unless bee-stung lips come naturally to you.
Collagen too pricey? Buy one of the many lip plumpers available at the cosmetic counter.
Step 2 Find an inappropriate partner Find an inappropriate partner—someone’s husband, your brother, or, if you’re supposedly heterosexual, a woman.
Step 3 Hang on Hang on to your partner in a proprietary way during the kiss, as a warning to other women.
Step 4 Keep lips closed Keep your lips closed, unless you’re in a serious relationship—you know, like one that involves wearing your partner’s blood in a vial around your neck. In that case, go for tongue.
Step 5 Flash a sexy smile When the kiss ends, flash your lover a sexy smile that promises better things to come.
Angelina Jolie has been quoted as saying that Brad Pitt is ‘a great kisser.’