How Not To Write a College Admissions Essay
- September 2, 2008
- 4,769 Views
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YFNspiderman82
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Director
Albert
- Voice Over Artist Sam Underwood
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Music
Edison Music Corp
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Writer
Brigid Scott
The college admissions essay is your opportunity to distinguish yourself from the mob of applicants. Follow these steps and stand out you will!
You Will Need
- Laziness
- A bad attitude
- And no problem with plagiarizing
Step 1: Wait until the last minute
Don’t give the essay a moment’s thought until the night before it’s due.
Step 2: Write down any old thing
Write down whatever the heck you feel like, paying no mind to the suggested topics. Shouldn’t schools value creativity?
Ignore instructions about word length, line spacing, and margins.
Step 3: Prepare a snack
Halfway through, prepare a snack to help you think more clearly. Doze off for a while.
Don’t be concerned if a little pizza grease ends up on the essay. Admission counselors know that genius can’t be found on an empty stomach.
Step 4: Phone friends
Phone all your friends and classmates to ask what they said in their essays, but never get beyond the topic of the cute substitute chem teacher.
Step 5: Plagiarize
Borrow the book report that earned your fifth-grade sibling an “A.” Incorporate any plot summary into your essay, tweaking some details to make the story your own.
Step 6: Trust yourself
Mail the essay without letting anyone review it.
Step 7: Shrug off rejection
Don’t let it bother you when you receive a rejection letter stating, “We found it interesting that your life so closely mirrored that of Johnny Appleseed.” That’s a compliment—he’s an American icon!
More than 50% of college applicants are rejected by their first choice school.
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Comments (4)
It sure would suck if someone didn't see the title.
over 3 years ago by sarge657
This is totally non sense.
over 3 years ago by yestyle
This video is for people who have parents bugging them to write an essay to go to college, so you do this to not get into college.
5 months ago by WiiGirl455
What is the point of this? I can't believe Howcast is paying for useless videos.
about 1 year ago by kjmorkunas
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