How Not to Write a College Admissions Essay
The college admissions essay is your opportunity to distinguish yourself from the mob of applicants. Follow these steps and stand out you will!
Up next in How to Get into College (11 videos)
Increase your chances of getting into a good university with the advice in this Howcast video series for aspiring college students.
You Will Need
- Laziness
- A bad attitude
- And no problem with plagiarizing
Steps
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Step 1
Wait until the last minute
Don't give the essay a moment's thought until the night before it's due.
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Step 2
Write down any old thing
Write down whatever the heck you feel like, paying no mind to the suggested topics. Shouldn't schools value creativity?
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Ignore instructions about word length, line spacing, and margins.
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Step 3
Prepare a snack
Halfway through, prepare a snack to help you think more clearly. Doze off for a while.
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Don't be concerned if a little pizza grease ends up on the essay. Admission counselors know that genius can't be found on an empty stomach.
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Step 4
Phone friends
Phone all your friends and classmates to ask what they said in their essays, but never get beyond the topic of the cute substitute chem teacher.
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Step 5
Plagiarize
Borrow the book report that earned your fifth-grade sibling an "A." Incorporate any plot summary into your essay, tweaking some details to make the story your own.
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Step 6
Trust yourself
Mail the essay without letting anyone review it.
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Step 7
Shrug off rejection
Don't let it bother you when you receive a rejection letter stating, "We found it interesting that your life so closely mirrored that of Johnny Appleseed." That's a compliment—he's an American icon!
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More than 50% of college applicants are rejected by their first choice school.
