You Will Need
- A sense of self-importance
- The need to be taken down a notch
- A stupid face
Realize you’re disliked
Realize that you may not be the most popular guy on the planet. Come to terms with this realization. Own it.
Clear your schedule
Clear your schedule for the day and eliminate any and all distractions from the task at hand.
Decide on action plan
Create an action plan. Do you want to be fked for life? Or just the afternoon?
Have you been cheating on your wife? How about your taxes? Time to own up, you lying turd! Pick up the phone and let them know what you really are. Don’t stop there—tell everyone!
Relinquish key possessions
Identify a few items you simply can’t live without…and get rid of them. Remember, you won’t need possessions down in hell!
Steer clear of sympathy
Don’t do anything drastic like set fire to one or both your legs. It’s not likely, but a serious and sudden injury might stir up sympathy for your miserable self, and that’s antithetical to your ultimate goal.
Get creative! When it comes to fking yourself, the options are endless.
Spread the love
While you’re on a roll, why not visit your boss, and tell him to go fk himself too. Congratulations. You’re fked. And you did it all by yourself.