How To Turn a Presidential Debate Into a Drinking Game

Assemble a decent-sized group of friends and a whole lot of booze. Give everyone a drink, have them pick the name of a candidate out of a hat, and turn on the debate.

Any empty rhetoric deserves one drink, starting with political niceties. Drink every time your candidate thanks an audience member, moderator, host, political system, mentor, or state.

Take a drink each time your candidate uses jargon or one of their catchphrases — or states the obvious like it’s a revelation.

Drink at any sign of folksy behavior from your candidate, including accent shifts, use of down-home phrases, or mentions of “small-town roots.”

Drink each time your candidate refers to an “average citizen” they’ve met in the course of campaigning.

Have a drink if your candidate’s response goes over time, and have another for every 30 seconds after that.

Drink twice every time your candidate makes a passive-aggressive slur or mentions a scandal. An outright character assassination means it’s time for a “social.”

Drink twice every time an audience member creates a disturbance by heckling or booing your candidate.

Drink three times if your candidate utters the word Nazi or Hitler. Drink four if they’re used in comparison to an opponent.

If anyone in your group actually feels inspired by a candidate’s answer at any point during the debate, everyone must chug.