How to Turn a Presidential Debate into a Drinking Game
Presidential debates are riddled with clichés. Keep the democratic process interesting, and use the political farce as an opportunity to get faced.
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You Will Need
- Friends who are 21 or older
- Beer
- The candidates' names in a hat
- A televised presidential debate
- Understanding neighbors
Steps
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Don't drink unless you're of legal age. Drink responsibly, and never drink and drive.
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Step 1
Gather your group
Assemble a decent-sized group of friends and a whole lot of booze. Give everyone a drink, have them pick the name of a candidate out of a hat, and turn on the debate.
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Step 2
Drink for political niceties
Any empty rhetoric deserves one drink, starting with political niceties. Drink every time your candidate thanks an audience member, moderator, host, political system, mentor, or state.
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Step 3
Drink for jargon
Take a drink each time your candidate uses jargon or one of their catchphrases -- or states the obvious like it's a revelation.
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Step 4
Drink for folksiness
Drink at any sign of folksy behavior from your candidate, including accent shifts, use of down-home phrases, or mentions of "small-town roots."
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Step 5
Drink for the "average citizen"
Drink each time your candidate refers to an "average citizen" they've met in the course of campaigning.
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Step 6
Drink for poor timing
Have a drink if your candidate's response goes over time, and have another for every 30 seconds after that.
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Step 7
Drink twice when it gets personal
Drink twice every time your candidate makes a passive-aggressive slur or mentions a scandal. An outright character assassination means it's time for a "social."
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A "social" means the whole room takes a drink.
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Step 8
Drink twice for an audience reaction
Drink twice every time an audience member creates a disturbance by heckling or booing your candidate.
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Step 9
Drink three times for Nazi comparisons
Drink three times if your candidate utters the word Nazi or Hitler. Drink four if they’re used in comparison to an opponent.
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Step 10
Call for a chug
If anyone in your group actually feels inspired by a candidate’s answer at any point during the debate, everyone must chug.
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Drinking parties can be traced back to the ancient Greeks, whose booze-fests were called symposia.
