How to Survive a Zombie Attack
Army of zombies on the loose? Check out these simple steps to help you survive an encounter with the undead.
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You Will Need
- Appropriate clothing
- Weapons
- Secure location
- Canned goods and bottled water
- Human-scented objects
- Lack of mercy
Steps
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Step 1
Know your enemy
Make sure you're facing an attack from actual zombies. Look for a stiff gait caused by rigor mortis, open wounds from decomposing flesh, and a hunger for human flesh.
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Step 2
Cover up
Cover up to prevent potential zombie bites from turning you into one of them. Wear a mask with holes only for the eyes and mouth, long sleeves, gloves, close-toe shoes, and long pants tucked into your socks. You may look like a fashion victim, but you won't be a zombie victim.
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Step 3
Amass weapons
Find a weapon to use in case you encounter a zombie. Grab a blunt object capable of bashing in undead heads or something to pierce the zombies' skulls -- even reanimated corpses can't survive severe brain injuries.
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Don't try to reason with zombies -- their brain functions are limited to walking, moaning, and feasting on the living.
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Step 4
Head indoors
Find a secure place to hide. Make sure it's located as far as possible from any graveyards and stocked with canned goods, bottled water, and projectile-firing weapons. Barricade the doors and windows to ensure your survival.
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Step 5
Fight back
Hide out long enough to overcome your fear; then, attack back! Use human-scented objects to lure the zombies to low-lying areas; once they're contained, blast their brains from afar. Continue trapping and killing until all the zombies are dead, and it's eerily quiet enough for you to hear your still-beating heart.
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A traditional zombie cocktail is made with sugar, fruit juice, and 4 kinds of rum.
