How to Deal with Post-Election Depression

So your candidate — the person you rooted for and rallied behind — didn't win. Post-election heartache feels like it'll last forever, but believe us — time heals all political wounds.

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You Will Need

  • A pen and paper
  • Friends and fun events
  • Propaganda
  • A trash compactor
  • A helium balloon

Steps

  1. Step 1

    Write a "grief letter"

    Write a letter expressing all the things you loved and admired about your candidate, as well as their shortcomings and your overall feelings about their loss at the polls. This letter is for your eyes only, so feel free to unload.

  2. Step 2

    Distance yourself

    Don't torture yourself by watching hours of old campaign footage or post-election coverage. Go out and have some non-political fun with your friends, and give yourself some time to heal that's far, far away from the news media.

  3. Step 3

    Trash your propaganda

    Collect every photo, poster, and piece of memorabilia associated with your candidate, and toss it in the trash. Alternately, if you need more closure, arrange for a ceremonial backyard burial.

  4. Step 4

    Don't move to Canada

    In a fit of enthusiasm, you swore that if your candidate didn't win, you'd move to Canada. Don't worry. No one took you seriously.

  5. Step 5

    Don't beat yourself up

    Don't beat yourself up. You're still a great person, and this isn't your fault. You did everything you could, but for whatever reason, the voting public just didn't think it was meant to be.

  6. Step 6

    Release a balloon

    To symbolize "letting go," tie a picture of your candidate to a helium balloon and release it into the wind.

  7. Step 7

    Treat yourself

    Devote a day to indulgence, and make yourself feel great. You don't need a candidate to make you feel like you can conquer the world!

  8. Step 8

    Support another candidate

    We know you're grieving right now, but someday, you'll be able to support another candidate. When that day comes, you'll be able to rally behind your new pick with the same fervor and passion -- or maybe even more.

  9. In Delaware, political candidates are fined $25 for every campaign sign on a public roadside that isn't removed within 30 days of the election.

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