How to Be Your Own Drill Sergeant

Order yourself to get healthy or face the consequences, maggot!

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We're not going to lecture you about all the things you should be doing to improve your health. Instead, these Howcast videos are going to show you fun and easy ways to shape up, like how to get a little healthier while staying just as lazy as you are right now; how to party your way to better health; and how to develop lazy habits that are good for you. Check them out so you can start your health kick today, without lifting a finger. We'll even tell you how to trick your loved ones into getting healthy.

You Will Need

  • Willpower
  • Long-term goal with benchmarks
  • Motivational tool
  • Mirror
  • Battle cry (optional)

Steps

  1. While this video is awesome, it didn't go to medical school. Always consult your doctor for actual medical advice.

  2. Step 1

    Show yourself who's boss

    Develop authority over yourself -- drill sergeants establish theirs early and decisively. Completely cut one unhealthy habit from your lifestyle right away to prove you can rise to a challenge without crying to your mama.

  3. Step 2

    Fall in line

    Embrace discipline, the cornerstone of any drill sergeant's approach to subordinates. Set an overall goal for getting healthy and come up with challenging but achievable fitness and diet benchmarks, which you can post around your base camp and reference daily.

  4. Step 3

    Learn to focus

    Pick a motivational tool, whether it's a mantra, a visual stimulus, or the possibility of a painful consequence if you fail to achieve your goals. Refer to it frequently.

  5. Want to reward yourself with cheat days or items that will get you off track? Wrong answer, soldier! Good health is its own reward.

  6. Step 4

    Get competitive

    Test your limits. Designate speed and distance objectives, and push yourself to beat them during every workout. Consistently set new targets to avoid becoming just another disgusting excuse for a pile of puke.

  7. Set reasonable targets -- doing too much too soon is an easy way to get injured, derailing your hard work.

  8. Step 5

    Stay sharp

    Focus on accuracy. No drill sergeant ever let someone get away with sloppy form! Exercise in front of a mirror -- you don't want to look like a lazy sack when you make yourself drop and give you 20.

  9. A well-timed battled cry can raise your adrenaline and push you to the edge.

  10. Step 6

    Change as necessary

    Adapt to changing conditions. Drill sergeants train recruits for a wide variety of combat situations. Exercise at home or outside if you can't get to the gym and stick to a healthy diet, no matter what. Make no excuses and do not accept failure. Oorah!

  11. Semper Fidelis, Latin for "always faithful," became the motto for the United States Marine Corps in 1883.

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