How to Get Famous

If you want to be a household name in households other than your own, there are ways to draw attention and make a name for yourself.

You will need

  • Video
  • Jokes
  • Open mic events
  • Clubs
  • Bad behavior
  • Movie star spouse
  • Radio show
  • Good looks
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • World record
  • Business acumen

Step 1 Make a video Film yourself singing, acting foolish, or playing air guitar to get famous. Put the video on YouTube, create a website and go viral, joining every social network you can.

Step 2 Be a comedian Tell jokes and perform at every open mic event in town. Write constantly and condition yourself to either ignore the hecklers and dead rooms, or else prepare scathing counter attacks that may become your comic persona.

Step 3 Be famous being famous Attend high-profile clubs and behave distastefully enough to make people know you — if not like you — and get photographed everywhere with drug-addled rock stars. Expose yourself as a fraud, and enter rehab. For imagining yourself famous, you will be famous.

Step 4 Marry a film star Marry a Hollywood film star and have babies with them, then cheat on them to get ink in the scandal pages. Opt for a reality show about cheating people, after which you can write a book abut being misunderstood.

Step 5 Talk on radio Get your own radio show on the AM band during which you offend everyone you can with outrageous, erratic, and irrational commentary on culture, politics, and morals. You won’t need an education, scruples, or purpose in most cases.

Step 6 Try modeling Arrange for a headshot and register with a local agency to get representation. Take modeling lessons to become a supermodel. Get surgery, add celebrity hair, face lifts, liposuction, and whatever implants and camera angles enhance the image.

Step 7 Set world records Set a world record for a ridiculous stunt. People always notice, so make sure to spread the word.

Step 8 Succeed in business Succeed in business, make millions, and become a public speaker, lecturing on the motivational circuit or doing infomercials. Sell tapes and books detailing your secrets. Enjoy it before your 15 minutes of fame run out!