Up next in Wedding Etiquette & Advice (32 videos)
Everything you need to know about engagements, bridal showers, and weddings, whether you're the bride, the groom, or a guest.
You Will Need
- RSVP card
- Handwritten note
- Formal declination
- Courtesy call
Fill out the RSVP card
Fill out the response card that came with the wedding invitation. If the invitation is addressed to two people and neither can go, write "two" on the "decline with regret" line.
Include a note
Smooth hurt feelings by including a handwritten note on the response card or a sheet of stationery. Be brief and honest about your reason for not attending -- or simply congratulate the couple and say you have a conflicting commitment.
Send a formal declination
Write a formal declination if you lose the response card. Use wording similar to the wording on the invitation. Say that you regretfully decline their kind invitation on that date to the wedding of the couple.
Drop it in the mail
Send your regrets to whomever the response envelope is addressed. If there is no response envelope, mail your regrets to whomever the invitation cites as the wedding's host.
Call hosts if changing mind
Don't respond "yes" lightly -- the hosts will not look kindly on paying for a no-show. Have the courtesy of calling your hosts immediately if you must change your "yes" to a "no."
Consider a gift
Consider sending a gift to the couple even if you can't attend the wedding. After all, they invited you to celebrate one of the most important days of their lives -- you should reciprocate the kindness.