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Adhere to the RSVP date
Look at the invitation -- it should note an RSVP deadline. It's there for a reason, as the bride and groom must give the caterer an accurate headcount and plot the seating arrangements. Respond by the date indicated, or the bride will have to track you down.
Abide by the guest list
Fill out the enclosed response card and abide by the names listed on the envelope. Adding the name of an uninvited date or child is rude and puts the couple in the awkward position of having to explain their guest list policy.
Send regrets graciously. Check the appropriate box on the response card to let the couple know you'll be unable to attend. Tradition dictates that you should still send a gift, even if you're not going; but a handwritten note of congratulations may suffice.
Read the response card. If it requests an RSVP, you'll need to respond whether you're going to attend or not. If it states "Regrets Only," it means only those who won't be attending need to reply.
Address questions correctly
Direct any wedding-related questions to members of the wedding party. Don't bombard the already stressed-out bride or groom with nit-picky issues and concerns, like what to wear to the ceremony.
Stick to your response
Heed your own reply. If you indicated you would attend the wedding, don't bail on the happy couple and not show up. On the flip side, don't crash a wedding you said you wouldn't attend. Be a conscientious guest or you may have to deal with an unhappy bride and groom and a damaged friendship.