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How Not To Get Mugged

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• 12,503 views
• The streets can be rough. Don’t be this guy—a few simple precautions will keep the muggers off your back.
• Added December 11, 2007

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This video has Easy Steps. | Show all steps » Print

You Will Need

• Pockets
• Worn clothing
• Angry glare

• 

  Step 1.

  Put away iPod

  Put away that iPod. Stick it in your pocket until you’re somewhere safe.

• 

  Step 2.

  Put wallet in front pocket

  If you carry a wallet, don’t keep it in your back pocket. Instead, put it in a front pocket. Better still, keep money in your socks.

• 

  Step 3.

  Wear stained shirt

  Instead of a pink polo, try a white T-shirt—with stains.

• If you must wear expensive clothes, consider buying a cheap jacket at a thrift store. Once you’re at your destination you can throw it away.

• 

  Step 4.

  Don’t act like tourist

  Stop staring up at buildings like a tourist. Try to seem familiar with your environment. Periodically yell, “Benny! Where you at!”

• 

  Step 5.

  Adopt angry glare

  Adopt an angry glare.

• If you’re having trouble looking mad, imagine you just bought a used T.V. But when you got home and plugged it in, it was broke.

• 

  Step 6.

  Project confidence

  While maintaining your angry glare, do your best to project confidence. Like dogs, muggers can smell fear. Pretend that you’re a judo master, or that you have retractable adamantium claws.

• Because of its tiny number of residents, Vatican City has the highest per capita crime rate of any country in the world.

Show comments rated greater than 10 Show comments rated greater than 5 Show comments rated greater than 0 Show comments rated greater than -5 Show comments rated greater than -10

Comments View all (13)...

Show Comment by SeenaJonJon (Rated 3)

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these tips saved my life.

Reply about 1 year ago by SeenaJonJon

Show Comment by momliebman (Rated 2)

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Every New Yorker and tourist should see this video. There is a lot of good ,practical advice in it.

Reply about 1 year ago by momliebman

Show Comment by NowIGetIt (Rated 2)

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But what am I gonna do with my pink polos??

Reply about 1 year ago by NowIGetIt

Show Comment by supertechmonkeymedia1 (Rated 1)

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gosh winconfig!

Reply 10 months ago by supertechmonkeymedia1

Show Comment by norgon (Rated 1)

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I agree with nowigetit. What am I gonna do with all these pink polo shirts, mang?

Reply about 1 year ago by norgon

Show Comment by cloklaris (Rated 1)

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genius stuff....very helpful for tourists!

Reply 12 months ago by cloklaris

Show Comment by HandsomeDevilSmith (Rated 1)

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I'm gonna order a shipment of cheap jackets to dispose of everytime I leave the house.

Reply about 1 year ago by HandsomeDevilSmith

Show Comment by MKF (Rated 0)

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Did Joe Pesci do the voiceover? Good video.

Reply 2 days ago by MKF

Show Comment by Matt_Nash (Rated 0)

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me likes

Reply 4 months ago by Matt_Nash

Show Comment by dogtide (Rated 0)

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hilarious video. well done.

Reply 5 days ago by dogtide

Show Comment by winconfig (Rated -6)

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All this is common sense...now i would like to see a video that shows how to defend yourself! I dont think im gonna see that up here cuz this site is controlled by a bunch of librals and don't see self defense as a good thing.

Reply about 1 year ago by winconfig

Show Comment by heatheracasta9 (Rated 1)

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then why are u looking at this website if u hate it?????? sheesh

Reply about 1 year ago by heatheracasta9

Show Comment by widget (Rated 1)

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I think self defense is a good thing, and I am very libral. Way to generalize jerk.

Reply 10 months ago by widget

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