How Not To Conduct a Job Interview

When you finally fetch him, come across as someone who hates his own job. Break the ice with, “Now who are you again?”

Begin by saying, “Let me tell you a little bit about myself” and launch into a monologue. Ask whether he thinks you’d look better as a redhead. Whatever he says, let your tone suggest he gave the wrong answer.

Repeatedly go off topic, lose your place, and do everything to convince the candidate that you are in desperate need of medication. Just to keep things interesting, repeatedly call him by the wrong name.

Feel free to take personal phone calls. By pantomime, let the candidate know that the person on the other end is crazy, then spend five minutes cooing, “No, I love you more” in a baby voice

At this point, confess that there is no job per se, but you wanted to test the waters as it were by seeing how the

Let him find his own way out of the office, even if said office is such a maze that he’ll no doubt get hopelessly lost. If you run into him later, shout and threaten to call security.