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How To Get Money Out Of Your Parents

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• So it’s one month into the school year and you’ve already blown through the entire semester’s allowance. You’re gonna need a good strategy.
• Added January 28, 2008

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This video has Easy Steps. | Show all steps » Print

You Will Need

• Solvent parents
• Acting skills
• Willingness to bend the truth

• 

  Step 1.

  Don’t call them

  Don’t call them—wait for them to phone. When they complain that they never hear from you, tell them calls cost money.

• Crunch some paper into the phone as you’re chatting. When asked, say you’re rolling pennies so you can buy dinner.

• 

  Step 2.

  Sound weak

  Next time they call, sound weak. When they show concern, tell them you’re just a little tired from donating plasma for cash three times this week.

• If you’re a guy, add that you’re looking into the more profitable sperm donation. Girls, say, “Hey, did you guys know I could get $5,000 for my eggs?”

• 

  Step 3.

  Ask for canned goods

  Tell your mom you’d love her to send some of her homemade brownies—then ask if she could toss in a few canned goods as well.

• 

  Step 4.

  Too broke to come home

  Gently break it to them that you won’t be coming home for the holidays after all. When pushed, sheepishly admit you don’t have the money.

• 

  Step 5.

  Have response ready

  Have a good response ready when they ask what happened to all your money, like, “I’ve been eating out a lot to avoid the E. coli they keep finding in the cafeteria food.”

• 

  Step 6.

  Reinforce good behavior

  When they insist on replenishing your account, reinforce this good behavior by telling them they are the best parents in the whole wide world.

• According to a recent survey, the average college student has about $287 to spend per month on discretionary items.

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Show Comment by BScott (Rated 2)

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brilliant!

Reply about 1 year ago by BScott

Show Comment by norgon (Rated 2)

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That's the spirit!

Reply about 1 year ago by norgon

Show Comment by anthonyaybar (Rated 1)

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cool. ill try

Reply about 1 year ago by anthonyaybar

Show Comment by Samo (Rated 1)

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That's cool...I wish one of my Wikiguides was turned into a Howcast

Reply about 1 year ago by Samo

Show Comment by caffeinatedalex (Rated 0)

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Shameless, but outstanding.

Reply 4 months ago by caffeinatedalex

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