How to Catch the Bouquet
If you must take part in this sexist, quasi-misogynistic ritual, you might as well win.
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You Will Need
- Determination
- A game plan
- A stretching routine
- Athletic shoes
Steps
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Step 1
Change your shoes
Shortly before the bouquet-tossing ceremony, start warming up. Kick off your heels and do a stretching routine. Or, if you’re deadly serious, change into athletic shoes. Good footing is key to beating out the other brides-to-be.
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Step 2
Pick your spot
When the single gals are called to the center of the dance floor, wait until everyone else is assembled. Then plant yourself in front of the bride’s closest friend or relative—that’s who she’ll be aiming for.
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Step 3
Adopt a wide stance
Adopt a wide stance—the kind former Senator Larry Craig claims to use in airport bathrooms. Put one foot slightly in front of the other, so you can dash forward or backward as needed.
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Step 4
Bend
Bend your knees slightly and have your arms raised in the ready position.
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Step 5
Make adjustments
As the bouquet begins its flight path, adjust your position as necessary, even if that means stepping on a few toes—or smacking a few faces. Don’t be afraid of a little body contact, especially if the throw goes long—and people are in your way.
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Step 6
Grab
Leap into the air, grab the bouquet with both hands, pull it close to your chest, and hold on for dear life!
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Step 7
Celebrate
Savor your victory. More importantly, enjoy the others’ defeat.