How to Tell Your Friend They Are Making a Big Mistake by Getting Married
You just know your pal is making a terrible mistake. But you’re going to need more than your intuition to stop the wedding.
Up next in Wedding Etiquette & Advice (32 videos)
Everything you need to know about engagements, bridal showers, and weddings, whether you're the bride, the groom, or a guest.
You Will Need
- A calm approach
- Reasoned arguments
- Acceptance of the final decision
Steps
-
Step 1
Time it
Find a time when you can speak with your friend privately, in a quiet setting. Don’t wait until the last minute (like a week before the wedding)—one to six months before the big day would be ideal.
-
Step 2
Stay calm
Broach the subject calmly. Your argument is not going to hold much sway if you’re on the verge of hysteria when you deliver it.
-
Step 3
Be reasonable
Present all the reasons you believe your pal will regret it if he or she walks down that aisle. Deliver them as you would a well-thought-out work presentation.
-
'You’ll no longer be able to screw other people,' is not really a valid argument.
-
Step 4
Anticipate objections
Anticipate the betrothed’s objections so you’re prepared to answer protests like, 'But my parents will lose ten grand if we cancel the reception hall this late.'
-
Step 5
Paint a picture
Paint a vivid picture of the grim life you foresee for your friend if he or she goes ahead with the wedding.
-
Keep referring to the wedding as a 'travesty.' Research shows that if you repeat something enough, people start to believe it.
-
Step 6
Offer support
Offer to support the person with the fallout that accompanies canceling a wedding.
-
Step 7
Offer a compromise
Offer a compromise. Suggest that the person at least postpone the wedding for a while.
-
Step 8
Accept it
If, despite your best efforts, the person decides to ignore your advice and say 'I do,' accept the decision and put on a happy face. Hey, maybe your friend really does know best.
-
About 20% of engaged couples end up calling off their wedding.
