Up next in Wedding Etiquette & Advice (32 videos)
Everything you need to know about engagements, bridal showers, and weddings, whether you're the bride, the groom, or a guest.
You Will Need
- No shame
Sex them up
Make your vows sexy. Say things that make everyone—old and young alike—cringe with embarrassment.
Hone your standup act
Treat your vows like a stand-up routine.
Include inside jokes
Include lots of inside jokes. Who cares if no one at the service knows what the hell you’re talking about? This day is about you.
Set your vows in iambic pentameter. Everyone loves amateur poetry.
Make them gag
Make your promises so touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, ooey, gooey, that your loved ones want to gag.
Break into song
For truly memorable vows, break into song—preferably one you wrote yourself.
Make it lengthy
Make your vows as long as possible. Hey, you may not have a captive audience like this ever again.