How to Know If Your Husband Is Planning to Kill You

Do you have the uneasy feeling that your husband may be planning a you-o-cide? Here’s how to know for sure.

You will need

  • Sleuthing skills

Step 1 Pull a switcheroo The next time hubby serves you food, find a reason to get him out of the room and switch plates. If he comes down with severe cramps, look around for a fresh box of rat poison.

Step 2 Check personal-care products Check your personal-care products for tampering. One devious husband tried to poison his wife by spiking not only her beverages, but also her dandruff shampoo! The poor dear would have died with embarrassing flakes if he hadn’t been caught.

Step 3 Monitor his purchases Monitor your husband’s purchases for anything suspicious—like that antique guillotine he just had to have.

Step 4 Check his browser Check his internet history to see if he’s checked out any suspicious websites. Scott Peterson was researching Bay Area tides before he dumped his wife’s body in the water.

Step 5 Monitor him while he sleeps Drink a gallon of coffee and stay awake one night to monitor him as he sleeps. Would-be murderers sometimes plot in their sleep.

Step 6 Check insurance See if he’s taken out a million dollar life insurance policy on you, even though you earn just $8,000 a year bagging groceries. That, my friends, is a dead giveaway.