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How to Dance without Embarrassing Yourself

It's easier than you might think to shake your moneymaker. Even if you happen to be a maniac on the floor.


  • Step 1: Practice Seal yourself up in a room, crank up the music, and dance. Don’t worry about technique or style — just get comfortable with moving your body to the music. Watch yourself in a mirror and see what looks good and what doesn’t.
  • Step 2: Start with the basics If nothing looks good, start with the basics: Step out with your right foot, and step back in. Step out with your left foot, and step back in. If even this is too much for you, then plant your feet and simply sway with the beat.
  • TIP: Relax! Bend your knees, keep your hands and arms loose, and unlock your hips.
  • Step 3: Hit the town Once you’ve got a couple of moves under your belt, hit the town. Make sure you dress appropriately. You can still look good even if your dancing is so-so.
  • Step 4: Scope out the dance floor Scope out the dance floor to see what sort of dancing people are doing. If you’re old enough, have a drink and loosen up a bit first.
  • TIP: For thousands of years, alcohol has been freeing people from being embarrassed. Just don’t get too drunk, or you’ll definitely be embarrassed tomorrow.
  • Step 5: Hit the floor Get on the floor. If the crowd is thin, try to stand near someone who is drawing a lot of attention – a bad dancer, or a sexy girl – so no one will be paying attention to you.
  • Step 6: Act relaxed Try to look like you’re having fun. Make eye contact with the people around you. Whatever you do, don’t stare at the floor.
  • TIP: Keep your hands at or below shoulder level at all times. You don’t want to knock anyone out, and flailing arms are the surest way to draw attention to yourself.
  • Step 7: Flow with the crowd Go with what the people around you are doing. Don’t emulate anyone – that’s creepy – just let the crowd, as well as the music, guide you.
  • Step 8: Avoid the center of dancing circles Avoid the center of dancing circles at all costs. If you find a dance circle is forming up, make sure you’re safely on the outside of it.
  • TIP: Do not try to breakdance, Krump, or do any Usher or Justin Timberlake moves. Also do not bite your lip, jump up and down, or scream 'Whooo!' or 'Ooo! Ooo!'
  • Step 9: Get off the floor Get off the floor. You’ve done well and haven’t embarrassed yourself – yet. Call it quits before you do something stupid like starting a conga line.
  • FACT: Studies show that dancing has therapeutic effects, combating things like anxiety, depression, hostility, and a bad sex life.

You Will Need

  • Music
  • A place to dance
  • A mirror
  • A dance partner
  • Alcohol

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