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How to Plot the Most Humiliating Sports Bet Ever

The scenario: The Super Bowl. The stakes: Humiliation. The results: Incredibly satisfying.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Make them convert Make them wear the winning team’s jersey for a full day—preferably the one representing their most despised player—with their face painted in the team colors. At a sports bar that night, they’ll have to go up to at least 20 strangers and say, 'Is this team the greatest, or what?'
  • TIP: To ratchet up the humiliation, force them to visit their favorite sports bar in their new garb—the regulars will be shocked at the defection.
  • Step 2: Spread the word For two weeks after the big game, make the loser admit their folly every time they meet someone new. After they introduce themselves, they must add that they bet on the losing team.
  • Step 3: Make coasters Get coasters made featuring a photo of the loser in the winning team's jersey. Stipulate that they have to use them anytime you're over.
  • Step 4: Shave them Shave their eyebrows. In their place, write the winning team’s city above one eye, and the team name over the other.
  • Step 5: Go to the videotape! Have the loser post a video of themselves on the web singing an original ballad about the winning team. Send the link to as many friends as possible.
  • Step 6: Play strip poker Organize a poker game with male and female players—with the loser decked in the winning team's colors. Conveniently, they'll be the only one playing strip poker, shedding clothes to reveal team slogans. Want to add injury to insult? If the loser is a guy, get him groomed beforehand—with a bikini wax.
  • FACT: An estimated $7 billion is wagered on the Super Bowl every year.

You Will Need

  • Someone to bet against
  • Your teamu2019s jersey
  • Face paint
  • Coasters
  • A razor
  • A poker game
  • A bikini wax (optional)

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