How To Cook on Your Car Engine

Unless you own a rickshaw and Emeril owes you a favor, this is as good as a speedy meal can get.

Instructions

Step 1: Find engine's hot spot Find a hot spot on your car's engine by driving it a few miles and then seeing which sections are the warmest.
TIP: Metal sections are best, especially the radiator.
Step 2: Determine what to cook Figure out what you can cook in the amount of time you'll be driving. Based on a speed of 65 mph, shrimp takes about 35 miles; salmon fillets, 40 miles; boneless, skinless chicken breasts, 60 miles; pork tenderloin, 200 to 300 miles.
TIP: Fish and chicken are your best bets, as meat takes longer and can get tough.
Step 3: Stack foil Place several pieces of heavy-duty aluminum foil on top of each other.
TIP: It's better to err on the side of too much foil than too little.
Step 4: Coat foil Spray or spread butter or cooking oil on the top sheet, so that the food won't stick.
Step 5: Center food on foil Place an individual serving in the center of the foil, and top with thinly-sliced veggies and whatever spices you like.
Step 6: Drizzle Drizzle the food with a small amount of wine or cooking oil.
TIP: If you top your entree with lemon juice or slices, make sure the package is tightly wrapped, because leaking lemon juice can corrode the engine.
Step 7: Fold up foil Fold the foil as if you were wrapping a gift box.
Step 8: Secure foil on engine Secure the pack on the engine so it doesn't end up on the road. Use wire as needed.
TIP: Test the pack's security by closing and then reopening the hood. If the top is untouched, add some wadded-up foil.
Step 9: Remove & eat After the estimated cooking-drive time, remove the food pack with an oven mitt or tongs. If you're at your destination but your meal is undercooked, re-start the car in a well-ventilated place and let the engine idle until the food is done.
FACT: Car engine cooking is taught in hurricane-prone areas as a way of preparing food during a blackout.