- Step 1: Dress nicely Dress nicely, but don't overdo it. Being overdressed or too sexy makes you seem desperate, which is always a turn-off.
- Step 2: Smile Smile at the person who's caught your eye—but do it the right way. For women, that means smiling while eyeing his body appreciatively. For men, it means holding her gaze.
- Step 3: Approach with a good opening Approach the person and say "hi." Then deliver an opening line that includes both a "we" statement and a personal question that involves the person's feelings, such as, "If the band is as good as I've heard, we're in for a great night. Are you into rockabilly?"
- TIP: Note to men: stay away from sexual innuendo—a big turnoff to women—and go with gallantry, like rescuing a woman from the guy who's serving up the smut.
- Step 4: Learn names Memorize the person's name and use it. People find it flattering, and transfer those good feelings to you.
- TIP: Note to women: tell him he has beautiful eyes. One survey found this is more successful in scoring a guy's interest than offering to buy him a beer.
- Step 5: Ask quirky questions Ask quirky questions. A study of speed daters found that the woman picked for a date by every man was not the prettiest; she was the one who asked, "What's your favorite pizza topping?"
- TIP: People who share an exhilarating and/or scary experience—like, say, a mechanical bull at a bar—bond quickly, because they confuse their feelings of excitement with attraction to their partner.
- Step 6: Talk about agreeable things Steer the conversation to agreeable topics. Yelling about nuclear disarmament or which God is the real God is best left for after the third date.
- Step 7: Offer to buy dinner Seal the deal by asking the person to dinner. Not drinks, which makes you seem uncommitted. Not coffee, which makes you seem cheap. Actual dinner.
- FACT: "I'm going to be busy for the next few weeks" is man-speak for "I'm not that into you."
You Will Need
- An opening lineu2014and opening question
- A few good travel stories
- And some quirky questions