How to Make Your Co-Workers Think You Have a Date on Valentine’s Day
No date for Valentine’s Day? Put down the Rocky Road and listen up.
Step 1: Lay the groundwork A few Mondays before Valentine’s Day, answer the standard, 'How was your weekend?' with a broad smile and a sly, 'It was wonderful.'
TIP: Wear some rouge that day so you appear to be glowing and/or blushing.
Step 2: Blame it on love Make a small error at work, call everyone’s attention to it, and dreamily say, 'I guess my mind has been elsewhere lately.'
Step 3: Doodle “his” name At staff meetings, doodle variations of your married name, like 'Mrs. Annabelle Smith,' 'Annabelle Jones-Smith,' and 'Mr. and Mrs. Henry Smith.' Make the doodles large enough for people several seats over to see.
TIP: If questioned about your blossoming romance, act coy and say you don’t want to kiss and tell.
Step 4: Feign phone calls Arrange for your BFF to call you a few times a day so coworkers can overhear you cooing, 'No, you hang up first. No, you. No you,' as you giggle girlishly.
Step 5: Dress up Wear a sexy new outfit to work on February 14th. When colleagues ask where you’re going, say you’re really jazzed about trying the new Italian place downtown. No one will notice you haven’t actually said you’re going there.
Step 6: Share chocolate The next workday, bring in a lavish heart-shaped box of chocolates with just a few pieces missing. Announce that you brought it in to share because you’re trying to watch your figure.
TIP: Wait until the morning of February 15th to buy the chocolate, so you can get it at half price.
Step 7: Hint at a breakup A few weeks later, arrive at the office sans makeup, looking sad. Thank everyone for their concern, but say you don’t want to talk about it. Enjoy the next day off, knowing everyone will be willing to cut heartbroken you some slack.
FACT: There are 120 single men in their twenties for every 100 unattached women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
You Will Need
Talent in the art of subterfuge
A hot new outfit
A heart-shaped box of Valentineu2019s Day chocolates