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How to Interpret Sex Dreams

Sex dreams can be fun, disturbing, confusing and downright weird—often all at the same time. But what do they mean?


  • Step 1: Keep a dream diary Keep a dream diary by jotting down your dreams as soon as you wake up.
  • Step 2: Identify the emotion Note the prevailing emotion you felt during the dream. Rage? Anxiety? Fear? Joy? Sadness?
  • TIP: Don’t feel bad if your nighttime emotions are predominantly negative—that’s perfectly normal.
  • Step 3: Disregard the partner Disregard your sex partner in the dream. Researchers say that who you are having sex with is not important—how you felt about it is. In other words, don’t feel weird around your nerdy coworker just because you got it on in your dream.
  • Step 4: Analyze your feelings Think about how you felt during your dream and see if you can link that emotion to something going on in your life. For example, erotic dreams are thought to occur most often when the dreamer needs a release from tension.
  • TIP: Some psychologists believe that sex dreams occur when a person feels he is being ignored and/or fears being abandoned.
  • Step 5: Know hidden meanings Know the hidden meanings of common sexual imagery. Breasts symbolize both nurturance and sexual arousal; ejaculation indicates a need for release or a loss of control; and for straight people, homosexuality represents self-love or an insecurity about your success with the opposite sex.
  • TIP: Expectant fathers often have dreams of homosexual encounters.
  • Step 6: Look for patterns Every few weeks, review your dream diary for patterns. If certain emotions and situations arise again and again, it may help you make sense of them.
  • FACT: Dreams about having sex with someone highly inappropriate—like a family member—are relatively common.

You Will Need

  • A dream diary
  • An open mind
  • Introspection

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