How to Crash a Wedding

If you have a free Saturday, we have a way for you to score free food, free cocktails, free dancing—and maybe even a hook-up.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Find some couples Find an upcoming wedding by studying the wedding announcements in the paper or—if you’re in the mood for a Catholic wedding—the wedding bans posted at local churches.
  • Step 2: Do your research Search for the couples online. Plug their names into popular wedding portals like weddingchannel.com and theknot.com, which host couples’ websites. If you can find a few wedding websites, you’ll have the time and location of several receptions. You’ll even know the dress code, so you’ll blend right in.
  • TIP: Force yourself to read the gag-inducing 'how we met' section, so you’ll be able to conduct convincing conversations with true invitees.
  • Step 3: Get ready Prepare for the festivities exactly as you would if you were attending the wedding as an invited guest—put on an appropriate outfit, have your hair done, get a manicure, etc.
  • TIP: Consider bringing a date—so you can tear up the party together.
  • Step 4: Have a prop Buy a wedding card so you can carry around an envelope marked with a generic 'For the Happy Couple!' Guests aren’t likely to question a person holding what appears to be a cash gift.
  • Step 5: Cruise the venues If you couldn’t find a specific wedding—or the one you did find looks lame—cruise the usual wedding venues, like fancy hotels and those big catering halls that host multiple parties at once. Crash the largest reception.
  • TIP: Saturday evening is the best time for wedding crashing. Start on the early side, so you arrive during cocktails.
  • Step 6: Claim the opposite connection Whenever someone starts talking to you, beat them to the punch with, 'So do you know the bride or the groom?'—then claim the opposite connection.
  • TIP: Saying that you’re a friend from work is a safe bet, since friends and family rarely meet each other’s office buds.
  • Step 7: Disappear for dinner Disappear for the dinner service, if it’s a seated meal. Hang out at the bar or get some air.
  • TIP: Be careful at the bar—don’t get drunk and decide to wander back in and give a toast. It’s a sure way to get booted out.
  • Step 8: Dance When the dancing starts, hit the floor. Be sure to get in on group dances, like the hora and the electric slide.
  • Step 9: Throw off suspicion Throw off suspicion by saving some dances for elderly guests and unattractive people—in other words, people you wouldn’t normally dance with if there weren’t some familial obligation.
  • TIP: Steer clear of couples. Nothing will blow your cover faster than arousing the anger of a jealous mate.
  • Step 10: Consider catching the bouquet or garter If you’re a girl, why not try to catch the bouquet? You might get lucky. Guys, decide if you want to take a shot at grabbing the garter.
  • Step 11: Stay on alert Stay on alert for guests who grow suspicious of your presence. At the first sign of confrontation, make a beeline for the exit.
  • Step 12: Have fun Above all, make sure you have a good time. Heck, you’re at a party!
  • FACT: One survey found that only 4% of engaged couples fear wedding crashers.

You Will Need

  • A fancy outfit
  • A wedding card
  • Alertness
  • The desire to party

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