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How to Pick a Wedgie in Public

Discomfort. Embarrassment. The wedgie. Get rid of the problem with these simple tips.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Find a wall Look for a wall or other large object that you can back up against to get rid of your wedgie. Slowly make your way in that direction without drawing attention to yourself.
  • Step 2: Find a distraction Wait for everyone around you to focus their attention elsewhere, or create your own distraction.
  • Step 3: Squat Spread your legs about two feet apart and squat down as inconspicuously as possible.
  • TIP: Don't go too far: Oversquatting can create an even bigger wedgie.
  • Step 4: Tug If the squat proved unsuccessful, take advantage of your out-of-the-way position to give your backside a good tug.
  • Step 5: Find a chair As a last resort, find a chair, and slowly slide across the seat as you sit down. Ahhhh…doesn't that feel better?
  • FACT: An "atomic wedgie" is a wedgie created by someone else, usually as an act of bullying.

You Will Need

  • A wall or large object to back up against
  • A distraction
  • A chair

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